It's been a month since my birthday and I've had plenty of time since then to relax and reminisce. I even took a break from blogging which was quite wonderful considering the fact it gave some much needed rest to my over worked brain. While I was relaxing thus, the topic for my next blog came to me like a bolt out of the blue. Suddenly the urge to write was there and my mind went back a couple of years when yours truly had hit rock bottom.
It was a couple of weeks after an utterly forgetful birthday. I was all alone in my bed room and unable to sleep. The darkness in the room was nothing compared to the darkness inside my heart. My professional career was going nowhere and my personal life was diving faster than an airplane which had lost both it's engines. Unable to sleep I desperately wished for a miracle to rejuvenate my life but nothing happened that night.
In the morning I dragged myself to work. I was drowsy, disturbed and disheveled and had no business working that day but I had a deadline to meet. The scheduled deadline was met soon enough and I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day. With no work to do, memories of the past came swirling back to my mind. Unable to bear the torture of the memories I got up from my seat and decided to go for a walk on the spur of the moment.
I started off on the walkaway around the building. I was still uneasy when I began the walk but the cool winter breeze seemed to calm my nerves. As the breeze caressed my face, memories of the past gave way to the present. I suddenly could feel the beauty of my surroundings. The lush green lawns, the trees, the fauna and the foliage all seemed to shower love on me. While I was savoring the serenity of my surroundings, my eyes fell upon the gardener's infant son who was playing on the lawn. His cackles, happiness and joie de vivre touched my heart. I instantly remembered my childhood and started longing for that smile I lost. In that very moment all the peace I had built over the last few minutes was whacked out of me and I slowly started descending back to right where I started.
Before my thoughts spiraled out of control I stopped them in their tracks and began to think. Here I was in the lap of serenity yet I wasn't able to enjoy any of it because I was too busy giving up this blessing for what had happened in the past. That's when I understood nothing can save people who don't count their blessings. This heightened sense of awareness reduced the gloom in my heart and made me look at the world around me.
The world around me was filled with people from all walks of life. There were some who made a life out of showing off, some who kept aping others, some who pined for attention relentlessly, some who achieved a lot yet didn't know the value of what of they achieved, some who were confused like me but there was also a few who were content within themselves. When I paid attention to the lives of the content people I learnt that they were content not because everything was perfect. They were content because when life was piling problems upon them, they decided to fight and forge forward by deriving strength from their blessings. These blessings could be their family, their past victories, their health or just the fact that they were able to get through a period of time without feeling negative. They didn't necessarily have solutions to every problem but if they couldn't solve a problem they were proud of the way they held themselves through that tough phase. Living with a sense of purpose and creating a quality life for their near and dear was far more important to them than just winning or losing.
Once I saw how people who counted their blessings lived, it didn't take too long for me to turn my life around. I tossed my regrets away (I could do this easily because be it relationships or work I always gave my best, the results were just not up to me), let go off people who didn't matter and closed those chapters in my life for which there was no closure (lack of closure didn't bother me as much as my inability to get on with my life, hence I had to drop this dead weight). I counted my learnings and the wisdom gained from my experiences as blessings and moved forward. Today my journey towards light is still in progress but this journey is a blessing which I can't miss for anything. As for my scars, all of them turned into symbols/souvenirs which I can proudly look back on, considering how far I've come since those dark days.
So that's my story but what about you? Remember you are not your designation or your title. You are not the fluff you garnish yourself with or the bluff that people post on your social media profiles. No social media comment, 'like' or endorsement can cover up for your lack of self esteem. You are what you feel inside not the external brouhaha that you present to the world. What's the use of achieving a lot when those achievements neither give you happiness nor contentment?
As long as you need someone else to validate your importance and existence your happiness will always be in some one else's hands. It's time to be independent not financially independent but emotionally independent. Take charge of your life today. Stop putting yourself down with everything that went wrong and mark those moments which made you happy. Those happy moments are the very blessings upon which the war of life can be fought. Counting your blessings is the key to a positive self esteem and an emotionally independent life.
May you all have a blessed life!
Until Next Time,
Yours Always,
J.J. Chaitanya
It was a couple of weeks after an utterly forgetful birthday. I was all alone in my bed room and unable to sleep. The darkness in the room was nothing compared to the darkness inside my heart. My professional career was going nowhere and my personal life was diving faster than an airplane which had lost both it's engines. Unable to sleep I desperately wished for a miracle to rejuvenate my life but nothing happened that night.
In the morning I dragged myself to work. I was drowsy, disturbed and disheveled and had no business working that day but I had a deadline to meet. The scheduled deadline was met soon enough and I had nothing else to do for the rest of the day. With no work to do, memories of the past came swirling back to my mind. Unable to bear the torture of the memories I got up from my seat and decided to go for a walk on the spur of the moment.
I started off on the walkaway around the building. I was still uneasy when I began the walk but the cool winter breeze seemed to calm my nerves. As the breeze caressed my face, memories of the past gave way to the present. I suddenly could feel the beauty of my surroundings. The lush green lawns, the trees, the fauna and the foliage all seemed to shower love on me. While I was savoring the serenity of my surroundings, my eyes fell upon the gardener's infant son who was playing on the lawn. His cackles, happiness and joie de vivre touched my heart. I instantly remembered my childhood and started longing for that smile I lost. In that very moment all the peace I had built over the last few minutes was whacked out of me and I slowly started descending back to right where I started.
Before my thoughts spiraled out of control I stopped them in their tracks and began to think. Here I was in the lap of serenity yet I wasn't able to enjoy any of it because I was too busy giving up this blessing for what had happened in the past. That's when I understood nothing can save people who don't count their blessings. This heightened sense of awareness reduced the gloom in my heart and made me look at the world around me.
The world around me was filled with people from all walks of life. There were some who made a life out of showing off, some who kept aping others, some who pined for attention relentlessly, some who achieved a lot yet didn't know the value of what of they achieved, some who were confused like me but there was also a few who were content within themselves. When I paid attention to the lives of the content people I learnt that they were content not because everything was perfect. They were content because when life was piling problems upon them, they decided to fight and forge forward by deriving strength from their blessings. These blessings could be their family, their past victories, their health or just the fact that they were able to get through a period of time without feeling negative. They didn't necessarily have solutions to every problem but if they couldn't solve a problem they were proud of the way they held themselves through that tough phase. Living with a sense of purpose and creating a quality life for their near and dear was far more important to them than just winning or losing.
Once I saw how people who counted their blessings lived, it didn't take too long for me to turn my life around. I tossed my regrets away (I could do this easily because be it relationships or work I always gave my best, the results were just not up to me), let go off people who didn't matter and closed those chapters in my life for which there was no closure (lack of closure didn't bother me as much as my inability to get on with my life, hence I had to drop this dead weight). I counted my learnings and the wisdom gained from my experiences as blessings and moved forward. Today my journey towards light is still in progress but this journey is a blessing which I can't miss for anything. As for my scars, all of them turned into symbols/souvenirs which I can proudly look back on, considering how far I've come since those dark days.
So that's my story but what about you? Remember you are not your designation or your title. You are not the fluff you garnish yourself with or the bluff that people post on your social media profiles. No social media comment, 'like' or endorsement can cover up for your lack of self esteem. You are what you feel inside not the external brouhaha that you present to the world. What's the use of achieving a lot when those achievements neither give you happiness nor contentment?
As long as you need someone else to validate your importance and existence your happiness will always be in some one else's hands. It's time to be independent not financially independent but emotionally independent. Take charge of your life today. Stop putting yourself down with everything that went wrong and mark those moments which made you happy. Those happy moments are the very blessings upon which the war of life can be fought. Counting your blessings is the key to a positive self esteem and an emotionally independent life.
May you all have a blessed life!
Until Next Time,
Yours Always,
J.J. Chaitanya
I appreciate your perspective. Smm panel has been a game-changer for me in the world of social media marketing.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I can attest to the positive impact that smm panel has had on my social media strategy.
ReplyDelete